I finally admitted to my daughter and her friends that the upcoming school year is causing me some agitation and unrest. I have faith that we will make it through this COVID-19 mess, as I call it, but I selfishly want my life back. That is a hard thing to write and a tough truth to admit. I learned years ago that life is not about me, it is about Him – Him referring to Jesus. In my own heart and mind though, I want to enter the doors of FES as a teacher, send my next kiddo to college, and for my two in high school to walk the halls of FHS, play volleyball, football, and learn face to face with their teachers.
Friday nights are a big deal to us around here. Will we make it without football, the band playing, and traveling to different stadiums around our district? Absolutely. Life is full of challenges and changes; however, I adore our traditions. Again, it took me a while to fully confess that I honestly want my “normal” and even more grit to speak it. My personal feelings make me feel somewhat like a brat! Today helped me, though. I attended a lovely wedding shower for one of my cousins. I stayed to clean up and sweep. It cracks me up how sweeping somewhere else is always more fun than at home.
I am currently sitting on my porch writing and looking at my flowerbeds. My intention was to bring my laptop outside and work on my roses when I needed a break. Since our school year was cut short, I have helped others. I began conquering my territory a few nights ago. It is less fun, just like cleaning my own floors, but needs to be done. This is another topic, though.
Seeing my cousins and aunt today brought me so much joy. I unexpectedly was able to share with one of them about my son “overthinking life” when he was younger. She mentioned that her oldest daughter often holds back because she has to individually process every single detail before she can jump into anything. Well, we were once there too, but God took care of my greatest motherhood challenge. Other moms and educators poured into me during that season. Today, I was able to empty into her and humbly share what I had learned. We did not shed tears, but really connected and felt each other. Moms do that!
I suggested a great counseling team in Dallas. I reiterated that positive and negative reinforcement would probably not cure her daughter’s anxiety, but it would take time. I gave her a book tucked in my purse, intended for the bride and groom, and wrote the name of one author who really helped me learn to pray the Word over my own child during his battle. Stormie Omartian’s book “Power of a Praying Parent” was my goto. She pens prayers, full of the Word of God. Her words enabled me to intercede for my beloved child. I read them out loud morning, day, and sometimes at night. The Word changed him and helped me find my own peace.
Whether your challenges are parenting, finances, health related, marriage, or even just a total sense of unrest because of 2020, please do this…share with others how you have made it thus far. Your story may not look one bit like mine or theirs, but I strangely suspect your victory was also rooted in Jesus, community, love, and patience. John 15:5 reminds me that apart from Jesus we can do nothing!